Dating Today
Everyone on this earth wants to love and be loved and not the surface level kind but the really deep and amazing kind that actually impacts your life. What’s even more thrilling about love is it’s ability to break through the coldest of hearts and bring warmth in those places. Now in as much as the title alludes to love in the context of relationships between men and women, think about a mother’s love towards her child or between life long friends because irrespective of the setting love is beautiful, wholesome and has healing powers.
But back to the topic, the dating game has evolved and continues to evolve as we progress in life. The framework with which people used to measure what constitutes dating in the early 2000s to the 2010s is different today. For example, back then the concept of dating meant two interested people engaging themselves in communication and activity for a period of time with the intention of getting to know one another. Today the process is still similar, but the length of time has gotten abit shorter and the execution less about indirectness and more about getting to the point. Some may argue it saves everyone time but I think it has made dating today quite difficult and here is why.
For starters, a good majority of people in the world today have trust issues because they have gone through very abusive and toxic relationships and over time this does something to you whether it’s emotional, mental, physical or psychological. In addition to that, navigating being a young adult while figuring out your life, goals and relationships is very taxing. In the end, a combination of all these can leave one feeling frustrated, scared and vulnerable. Therefore, in order to protect one’s self, a person may become emotionally unavailable and refuse to engage in deep connections with others. “What if they hurt me again?” So it becomes easier to not let people in.
Secondly, people today have way more options as compared to times before and its because of online dating and networking sites like Tinder. These sites create a space where people all over the world can find love. One of the most relevant examples is the swipe right or left feature which allows you to choose a connection from a pool of 100 to 1000 people. Imagine having that level of variety at your finger tips. And with this, most people don’t see the need to invest in building long lasting bonds because having many choices relieves you of that duty or burden of putting time and effort into a person. There are also some cases where people’s propensity to exit connections is simply because back up options exist which complicates the dating scene further.
And lastly, we can not mention the difficulties of dating and leave out the hookup culture in the society we live in today. Simply put, its a lifestyle that encourages casual sexual encounters with no need for emotional intimacy or the commitment of a relationship. Because this culture is widely accepted and even praised, the idea of trying to connect with a person outside of the bedroom is seen as boring and even too old fashioned. This hookup culture doesn’t make room for individuals to deeply connect with others because there’s a disconnect between those that desire to date and those that don’t believe in dating. Ultimately, the process of maneuvering that gap has created a lot of chaos and drama in the dating world and that is where the struggle lies.
This is not a call to abandon ship and run to a secluded island and be all by yourself, no. It is also not a reflection of the entire population. This is merely an attempt to shade light on the current reality of dating in the world we live in today. In the end, all that matters is that you stay true to yourself.
